Have you ever been so sure of something, like God has His hands all on it, yet you still carry around that doubtful sinking feeling? This has been me. This whole week. I’ve talked to God, practically yelling- crying and just giving Him all of my thoughts out loud. I almost feel as if He’s clearly told me, “This is supposed to happen.” The only questions I’m left with are, “WHEN?” and, “WHY NOT NOW?” I had dinner with a friend last night, and God has just blessed the two of us in numerous ways. We both feel Him working so powerfully right now. But He has us both waiting. WAITING. Waaaaaaiiiittttiiinnnggg. I feel like God always has us waiting on something. Anyway, at dinner, she told me this: “Maybe God’s plan is to do work in you first before you start something else.” What? I haven’t thought of it like that, since all I can feel and think about at the moment is how this sucks, and why won’t this sinking feeling go away? I’ve given it to God, and He’s thrown so many things in my face the past month. It all seemed to be coming together, when BAM, this trial was thrown in my face. I know it’s probably one of those times when God’s like, “I just want you to drawl closer to me. Not to someone else. Not to anything else- just me. Put your faith in me. Put your worries in me. I care about you. Just be patient. Drawl closer to me, and I will drawl closer to you. Just have faith, I am all knowing. I know what’s best for you, and for the other person. And at the right time, your questions will be answered. Just throw yourself into my arms. Your desires will eventually become my desires, and our plans will line up. Just be patient. I love you.” Notice how many times I feel like He keeps repeating, “just be patient?” I’ve always lacked patience. Lately I’ve had no peace. Which means hardly any sleep, and just worried about my life until I literally began to become sick. Until I read this:
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.
HE gives me peace. Not stressing. HE takes my troubles away, not anything or anyone else. HE tells me not to be afraid. Which is so comforting. I mean, admittedly, I still am struggling with giving my cares FULLY to Him. It’s hard to let go of something that means a lot to you. But I know He has a plan, and a reason for everything. So blessed by that, and so thankful.