Last night, I read someone’s Tweet saying, “If your eight year old self met you, would they be proud?” Man. That was a tough one to read. WOULD my eight year old self be proud? I mean, as a kid ya dream big. You’re pure and innocent. You have a wild imagination of what growing up is gonna be like. I never thought growing up would be like it has been. It’s been a roller coaster ride, to say the least. Each day something is thrown at me, whether it be me failing another test, a broken heart, family issues, work issues, etc. Just since the start of 2012, I’ve been through a cluster of problems left and right. When you’re eight, you think of your eighteen year old self as someone who, I guess in a way, has it all together. Someone who is grown up, making grown up decisions and choices. Someone who is somewhat “perfect,” especially since you’re only imagining this image of yourself. As I read that last night, I thought, WOULD I be proud of myself if I met me when I was 8? Maybe on the outside, yeah. It may appear to look like I have things all together. But really, it can be somewhat of a front. If I really got to know eighteen year old self as my eight year old self (get to know as in REALLY dig deep), I’d probably wonder upon a rude awakening. I don’t have it all together. I don’t have a clue what I’m supposed to be when I “grow up.” I constantly spend more money than I should. I constantly make the wrong decision. I constantly say things I shouldn’t say. I constantly live lazily. I constantly let people walk all over me. I don’t have the best relationship that I’m supposed to have with some of my family. I’m not strong at times when I’m expected to be.. I’m hardly anything like I wanted to be when I was eight. I wouldn’t necessarily NOT be proud of the person who I am, because compared to some others I do have things together, but it was kind of a rude awakening for me to read that Tweet last night. Why am I not what I wanted to be then? Why am I not doing what I’m supposed to be doing in order to more mature in my relationship with Christ? Why am I not living my life the way I should be, ALWAYS striving to be a better person? Like I said earlier, I’m not strong. STRONG… That’s a good word choice, I think. I’m weak. When things get tough, I tend to cop out and do life MY way. When things get weak, I go into “freak out” mode and try to handle life my own way. God says for us to give our cares to Him, and when things get tough, LEAN on Him constantly. Not like a roller coaster. When I was eight, I would’ve thought I’d have this grasped by now. I would’ve thought I’d constantly be reading my Bible on daily basis.. Well, I’m not. I would’ve thought I’d constantly be the “right person” making the “right decisions” all the time. Again, I’m not. I mean, realistically that isn’t possible. If I did everything right all the time, I’d have no cares and I’d be perfect. It isn’t possible to be perfect. We are called to strive to be perfect, but God and I both know none of us are. I just would’ve thought I’d have things more together than I do now. This Tweet has just really challenged me to become a better me. It’s time to stop giving up when the going gets tough. It’s time to live WITH God boldly all the time. It’s time for a change. I think my eight year old self wouldn’t necessarily be proud of how I’m living at the moment, because it’s ignorant. BUT. I think my eight year old self would be proud that I’m finalizing a change. It’s time to let God make the change.
Romans 12:1-2 Tells us to place our lives before God. “So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.”
Ya only live once, so it’s time to start living right. Am I right?